Part 16: The Source

October 2, 2009

Chiasa is speechless, the feel of his soft lips still lingering on hers. “Though,” Kain shrugs, driving the car forward, “Your main worry isn’t about me. I’m sure that you knew I would be okay. But I know what you are truly wondering about… the Source. Am I right?” Chiasa gives Kain a shocked look…

“I’ve been wondering about it too.” Kain nods, turning a corner and merging with afternoon traffic, “I can’t figure out the Source’s reasoning, either. It seems you are a unlikely threat, being that you are at a disadvantage. On the other hand, it makes sense to want to eliminate the weakest link, and that would be an easier job, other than trying to destroy one of our kind, that is fully awake and don’t have the false memories running concurrently. But, again, that doesn’t seem like the Source’s way either, as evil as it is, for it tends to like a challenge more. I’m just as confused about it, as you are, Chiasa.”

“Well,” she says, in deep thought, “Is it possible that I am a challenge? I mean, is my strength exceptional?” “Of course,” grins Kain, “I am bias, so I would automatically answer with an ‘yes’. But the truth is, your strength and fighting skills is no more extraordinary of other warriors I have seen. It’s the same level of, technically. But I do wonder about the Source’s fascination with you. I will look into the matter more, so please don’t worry. I’ll find the answers.” Chiasa sighs and lean more into her seat, worrying anyway.

After a while of driving around Tokyo, Kain finally stops just a few yards from her home. “I guess,” she frowns, “This is it. Another goodbye.” “You should get home,” he nods, knowing of her frustration, as it is his too, “We don’t want you to get trouble with the parents for missing dinner, do we?” “I hate this life.” Chiasa breaths, shocked by that sudden truth escaping her. “You mean, this created one?” says Kain, not surprised at all, “Of course you do. It is not your real one and it doesn’t fit in with the real you.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” she hopped, turning slightly in her seat to face Kain, “I love my family, even though they are not my real one. I would die for them, if it came down to that choice, without hesitation!” “I’m not doubting that,” he nods, still not looking her way, “I’m pretty sure you would. That is your true self and nature to do something like that, after all. And beside you still have a bound with them, created memories or not. I am a little jealous of that, sometimes…. As since the dawning of time, I’ve never been able to have a sense of family, being that I am in this form. The ones created in your form, you get to experience that family life… once every 8 or so years.”

“What do you mean by form?” asks Chiasa, confused. “Oh?” he says, finally looking her way, “You don’t remember that part. Have you ever wondered why your body never grows? Or why I always seem to keep the body of an thirty-year old, for many centuries? That is another mystery, in itself… none of our kind knows why. But some of us were born here, and grew quickly into adults… then we don’t age any further. And for some, like yourself, they grow but the age stops sooner, the body stays in the adolecent stage. The reason for this, is unclear.”

“More mysteries!” growls Chiasa, grabbing her head in frustration, “No one knows what we are called, what we are, how we got here, how to reach the Source, or even why some of us don’t grow past teen-aged bodies! What DO we know? And why the hell did everyone forget!?” “Because,” sighs Kain, looking away again, “The simple truth is, these details don’t really matter. They only seem to matter to you so much, because it matters so much to the created juvenile part of you. If you were not torn and your full self, you wouldn’t even care to ask these questions.”

“How do you know that!?” growls Chiasa, grabbing his shirt in anger, “You don’t know what I would ask! And using my current mental state -which by the way is all of your doing- is a flimsy excuse!” Kain looks into her eyes, with firm certainty and annoyance. The look is so very sharp, that Chiasa lets go of his shirt instantly, becoming a little afraid. “Even this tantrum isn’t you.” he says, coldly, “And I’ve spent many of centuries, devoted and a loyal servant, to the real Chiasa… not this Chiasa Moto, a created teenager, in a created environment. How would I know? Because I know Chiasa and she never asked questions that didn’t matter, like the orgins of ourselves. All that matters is doing the job of protecting humans and trying to find the Source. What we are and why we are the way we are, is highly irrelevant.

“You’re right. I did cause this mess, by waking you up so early, but you can’t deny the fact that although you’re well over 200 years old, right now you are acting like an over emotional 15 year old girl. So, it’s hardly an excuse, but an fact.” Chiasa swallows hard, trying not to cry. Kain sighs and softens a little, noticing the fear on her face. “I’m sorry.” he says, placing his hands on the wheel, “I guess… I lost my temper again.” “No,” says Chiasa, her voice wavering a little, “I’m the one who should apologize. I took my frustration out on you, which is unfair. You have been a loyal servant to me, for all of these centuries, and if anyone would know me best… it would be you.”

“Spoken like the true Chiasa.” he nods, half sarcastically. “Because I AM the real Chiasa”, she says, her voice still wavering, “I am half here, Kain. Don’t start treating me like a stranger, just because I am not as whole as you would like… as I would like too! I’m not all the way that naive teen girl… I’m not all the way myself either… I…. I just wanted some answers, to connect to something, because I don’t know what the hell I am anymore. I don’t know where I fit… or what to do… or what is expected of me… or…” The tears began to fall, in spite of her resolve for them to not.

Chiasa feels Kain’s huge strong arms wrap around her, in the blur of her tears. He kissed her ear and softly whispered into it, “You are you, Chiasa. And where you belong is with me. That’s all that you need to know, for now.” Chiasa holds onto him, tightly…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: